Some days I swear I'm married to the devil

So when my Joe (most of you know him as Stitch) started dating, he had just broken up with his high school sweetheart, his very first love. He hasn't talked to her since. He told me 2 years ago that if she came back into his life, he didn't know what he would do and that she was the only one I'd ever have to worry about him leaving me over, but not to stress about it cause they'd probably never talk again. Last night, he comes home and tells me that he looked her up on Myspace about a month ago, and last night she messaged him back. He gave her our phone number, and she said she'd call him today. He asked me how I felt about it, and I said I didn't know. This morning she txts him at like 9:00am. They haven't stopped txting the entire day. He gets this grin on his face everytime they start talking, and he tells me he feels weird talking to her in front of me. While we're at Wal-Mart, she calls him. She hears Drey and wants to talk to him. Drey doesn't want to talk to her, lol. She tells him that the only reason that she messaged him back was because she wanted to apologize for the way she ended things between them. He tells her IN FRONT OF ME AND MY CHILDREN that he wants to be friends because he can't stand to lose the only part of her he has left. He keeps on ignoring me, Drey, and Zayden to go talk to her. I know she has a fiance.. but this is still just.... blah! I know I probably shouldn't have, but I went and eavesdropped on the conversation he's having with her RIGHT NOW!!! outside in my mom and dad's driveway.. and all I could make out was "If I didn't have them, she'd be just another girl" and then "I want to be with her, but I want to stay in contact with you", and then he walked out of my hearing range....... I didn't know how I felt about it last night.. but everytime I hear that dang "driiiinng driiiing" of the cell phone, and him smiling like the biggest dumbass I've ever seen.. I can't help but scream "BIIIIITTTCHHHHHHH!!!! (@#$@ you!!!!" in my head. I'm not even supposed to be typing this.. or telling anyone.. cause he knows my family (especially my mom) would shit bricks and then beat him to death for it. How is this fair to me? I've always felt like I was competing with a memory because of what he told me when we first got married, and now she's back in his life.. and I feel like I'm playing second best. As soon as she comes into the picture, I take back burner as do my children. Do I have every right to be pissed off? or am I blowing this whole thing out of proportion. BTW---- If you're reading this, PLEASE don't discuss it with anyone else but me. Considering you're the only one I'm letting read this Tausha, please don't tell grandma or anyone... PLEASE!

A giveaway to check out!

So I frequent a website called Momdot. Right now, they're hosting an awesome giveaway for a carseat makeover from Dressy Dribbles. Now if anyone has ever used a hand me down carseat, they NEED this! Don't miss out on your chance to win. All you have to do is visit Momdot, go to their contests page, and follow the instructions. It's that simple =0p. I don't know about you but, I could DEFINITELY use this. Especially since Zayden is using Dray's old carseat and it's falling apart. Thanks guys =0p.

A Day in the Life...

Now that my first post is out of the way, and I'm well into the swing of things for the day.. I'll give you a glimpse of what my life is like on a daily basis. 8:00 am - Wake up

8:30 am - Get something to eat and pray you get to finish it without hearing the familiar "MOMMMMY" coming from the crib in the corner

8:45 am - If I'm lucky, I get a 5 minute shower around this time.

9:00 am - Dray is up!.... and so is Zayden. Joe is blissfully sleeping in the corner, oblivious to the wails of our children.

9:30 am - Dray has no idea what he wants to eat (steroids make him hungry but nothing tastes good), but everything I offer is a " No Mommy! I don't want it! Go Away!" (they also make him mean)

9:45 am - Dray has finally decided on a food choice and is in his high chair. I'm measuring out his 4 medicines into a small cupfull of grape juice. Zayden is happily fed and is sleeping again.

10:00 am - The end of the battle to take the medicine. Dray was UNHAPPY about that today. Grape juice went everywhere.

10:30am - Zayden is awake again, and Dray is finally done with his 3rd plate of eggs. Joe is still sleeping.

10:50am - Zayden just peed out of his diaper, and Dray forgot to tell me he needed to potty.. so now I have pee everywhere.. and Dray wants cheese puffs.

11:15 am - Both boys are finally clean. Zayden is content to lie on his blanket in the floor. Dray is watching Handy Manny (his favorite cartoon), and all is well for the moment. Joe is still sleeping.

11:55 am - Dray is done with Handy Manny and Playhouse Disney goes off in 5 minutes. He's not done watching television so he keeps wanting me to turn it back on. I FINALLY got that sinkfull of dishes done from yesterday's breakfast, but Joe's clothes from when he got home are still all over the house ( he doesn't listen!)

12:30pm - FINALLY! Naptime. If I'm lucky, I'll get a nap with the boys, but it's looking like Zayden isn't gonna let that happen.

1:00pm - Zayden is finally asleep. Dray just fell asleep. YAY! Now time for my nap.

1:20pm - Dray is up again... already????

1:45pm - Both the boys are up for good. Dray is hungry again.

3:00pm - Joe finally wakes up and needs me to get him food and then clothes for work. He goes to take a shower and leaves me with the kids!

3:30pm - Joe is gone for the day for work. He'll be home WAY later. Dray isn't happy that Daddy left, and they're both hungry.

4:45pm - After an hour of watching Tv with Dray, he's taking a small nap on the floor. Zayden has a gas bubble that Mommy can't get rid of. Lovely.

5:55pm -Dray feels warm. I check his temp and it's 99.1. I have to call his doctor to make sure it's no problem. Dray is hungry again and not happy about anything. Zayden is hungry.

6:30pm - This is when I start counting down till Mommy Time. Dray wants more food.

7:30pm - We call cousin Ayla and tell her goodnight. Zayden is hungry. Dray gets something filling to eat before bed. I'm ready to bury my head under a pillow!

8:00pm - Bath time and brushing teeth. Dray's hair is falling out, so he hates to get it combed before bed. He doesn't want Mommy's help to brush his teeth.

8:30pm - Dray gets his Trix yogurt that he gets every evening before bed. We fight over who holds the cup because he makes a huge mess. I measure out 3 of his medicines in a cupfull of grape juice.

8:45pm - It doesn't take as long in the evening to get him to take his medicine. Zayden is dirty.

9:15pm - After some cuddle time and reading his "Nite Nite" book, Dray is in his crib and watching "Zack & Cody" before going to sleep. Zayden is hungry.

9:45pm - Dray is blissfully asleep after 3 refilled cups of milk and a chicken nugget that he couldn't live without. Zayden is full and fat and having fun playing in his bouncer.

10:45pm - Zayden is hungry and gets his second 6oz/2tsp bottle of cereal. Dray has been moving around and wanting more to eat. He's eaten 4 chicken nuggets.

11:15pm - Zayden is finally drifting off to sleep, and Dray peed through his nightime diaper. Now, I have to wake him up to get him new sheets and clothes.

12:00am - All has been quiet for 5 minutes. It's pure BLISS!

12:15am - The phone rings. It's my husband telling me he's going to my mom's to play video games. He'll be home around 2.

1:30am - Can't sleep because the stupid dog outside keeps howling, and the wind is making our screen door slam like crazy.

2:15am- Joe finally makes it home. It's snowing, and we can't get snowed in just in case Dray gets a fever. We pack up the kids and our stuff and head to my mom's.

2:45am - We finally make it to Mom's through all the snow and get the kids settled down. Now Joe wants to tell me about every detail of his ENTIRE day.

3:15am - SLEEP! Yay!

See why I'm insane???? And on every Friday and some Mondays, it all starts at 6.. we have to make a 1 1/2 hour drive to get Dray's chemotherapy, and then we have to run errands. On Thursdays, he can't eat or drink after midnight.. so no cup, no food in the morning or until 11am.. It sucks. I can't wait till he's better.

Welcome to my craziness.

Here we go...

In the 10 seconds I have to myself every morning, I usually don't do anything more productive than eat in silence or check my e-mail. This morning was far more productive than most other days because..... I made a blog. Now how in the WORLD am I going to have time for a blog when I don't even have time for a shower most days, you ask? Well, here goes.

My kids are my life but every now and again, I need a moment. This is where my newly found blog comes in. My husband doesn't listen, my mom just wants to give me advice on how she did it with my dad (which sometimes works), but my blog just shuts up and listens. How wonderful. When I'm at my mother's while my husband is at work and the kids are asleep, I'm going to come here and vent (or brag or who knows what the hell) in the long evening hours about my day or week (or however long since I hadn't posted). Enjoy.

At this moment, I know no one is reading but lonely old me. I'm going to rectify that shortly, I hope.

I'm not going to have any giveaways (although I might link to quite a few of them through Momdot), I'm not going to post everyday, I don't expect anyone to give me feely good comments or anything ( although sometimes I might need them), I'm just going to be me.

I truly am trying to find myself in this hectic, crazy thing I call my life.